I wrote the following on Tuesday 27 April 2004:
I have five cigarettes to last me till morning:
But 18 bottles of beerThe Kropotkin cryptic this week vexes me. The day today is Tuesday already and I still have two more clues to get. How utterly irksome. There is nothing more pathetic to me or so lonely as an incomplete crossword puzzle. Moreover, its wretchedness is only matched by the fact that I find so inconsequential a thing as an incomplete crossword puzzle so pitiable.
What a strange and sad man I once was. Well, I’m off to drink some cider and play some darts.
Obesity: no longer a handicap, specially for drunkards with very sharp projectiles
Tama is (according to the Electoral Roll) an essayist and sometime pamphleteer living in Auckland. 
I've just noticed something. He has pork in his pocket. What the fuck Mr Porky?
First off, this is the legendary Peter "One Dart" Manley, not Mr Porky. Second, Mr Porky is a fictional pig and brand of pork scratchings which sponsors Mr Manley. Thirdly, the reason he is facing away from the board is on account of crippling obesity.
Only a fool breaks the two-second rule.
I'd just like to point out that Mr. Porky is aiming away from the board. It's not what we're drinking. Safer communities together.