Archive from February, 2007
Feb 18, 2007 - Featured Stories    8 comments

Party Time. Excellent. Be Excellent to Each Other. Party On, Dude.

Coverage of party pills is interesting. The police currently talking about illegal drugs, like MDMA, being found in small amounts in BZP pills will be interpreted by the average citizen (by which I mean, the average consumer of The Herald, who is by no means the average Kiwi) in predictable ways. Predictable, vague ways. Party pills have made a progression from being a “herbal high” – which they never were – to being a “legal high” to now being a vaguely illegal high. The vague illegality is not a matter of illegal additives in some pills (which, if it is a concern, is a matter for quality assurance), but rather the association in the minds of the public. It would not be insane to suggest that “party” and “pill” beginning with a certain letter of the alphabet contributes in some way to a sporadically whipped up public imagination. Nor is their association with raves and dance parties – ironic, considering their creator was looking for an alternative to illegal drugs he considered dangerous.

It’s also interesting to note that BZP is often referred to as a cattle-worming agent, in the same way that tasers are referred to as delivering 50,000 volts. It appeals to the public imagination, being able to say, “You know what they put in those things? Cattle-worming agents!” As if alcoholic drinks don’t include a topical antiseptic and cigarettes don’t contain rat poison.

But what’s most interesting of all is the fact that the matter has received any attention at all. To whom is it a matter of concern? A small fragment of generally middle-class kids use party pills – they mostly want to keep them legal. Their parents, I suppose, are the other concerned parties. The public is not put at risk by the drugs, and the number of people who died from alcohol-related causes in the last week is many times more than the number of people who allegedly died from taking party pills… ever.

But those middle-class parents make up a sizeable portion of the “average citizen” mentioned above – the demographic that provides numbers to the news sources of TVOne, TV3, the Herald, the Post, etc.

The vicious cycle of commodified news is frustrating. People are increasingly shown what they want to see, and they increasingly see what they have seen in the past. So it is that Anna Nicole Smith’s death belongs not in the human-interest slot after the weather, but rather as international news – not just a mention, but an actual whole story from CNN or the BBC. So it is that the classification of BZP is headline news.

What is importance in news? If it was measured in the potential for human suffering found in a particular issue, every night of 6pm news would begin with a piece about alcohol, or about working conditions and pay rates. That’s for national news. For international news, Iraq would still feature strongly, but Palestine would drop down the ranks, replaced by African countries we’ve never heard of.

Instead, we are given Anna Nicole Smith and the placement of a stadium. Speaking of the stadium, 6pm news shows happily provide us with 20 minutes of sports “news” each night. This goes unquestioned.

And of course it does. It would be suicidal for either TVOne or TV3 to replace their sports news with real news, because half the viewers would switch to the competition. Because they want to see sports news. If they see one “tonight on 3 News/One News” segment promising a story about killer party pills and the other about No Child Left Behind legislation in the States, they’re going with the party pills.

Where does the responsibility lie? Tricky for me, being an anarchist. People should choose for themselves, I might say, but then, they already have, and here I am complaining about it. So should the government legislate requirements for news sources to provide actual news? Sure, Ryan, no problem there – just the government deciding what is and is not news. So we need more critically thinking viewers to come out of a situation where they’re being systematically (though not intentionally) dumbed down and numbed down by news shows that compete with their rivals in a manner identical to competition between Sticky TV and Studio 2.

And once again, who am I to say that these things are or are not news? Do I profess access to some Platonic standard of importance against which I can measure Anna Nicole Smith’s death or the stadium placement or the All Blacks’ latest training schedule?

No, God is dead and value is relative. The consequence is that the only value is consistency with one’s own values, whatever they are: the only sin is hypocrisy. The only ground for argument is values held in common. So all that’s left to say is: come on, New Zealand, you don’t really care about this bullshit.

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Feb 13, 2007 - Featured Stories    3 comments

Lupercalia

Happy Lupercalia, everyone. Yes, it’s that ancient Athenian holiday that celebrates the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera. In the Year of Our Lord 496, Pope Gelasius I petulantly abolished Lupercalia and replaced it with the feast of St Valentine. Valentine was martyred for his faith, after a long life of… doing… something good… that God knows about, Gelasius assured everyone.

Chaucer’s Parliament of Foules is the first recorded instance of Probably Saint Valentine’s feast being associated with boning romance. He mysteriously wrote:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

Presumably Geoff was writing in code to avoid detection by King Richard II, for whom he wrote the poem. There is contention among scholarly circles as to what “chesing” your “make” is, though most agree that in the Olden Days, men were brides (“bryds”, in the Auld Lang Syne (“old tongue signifier”)), and they stalked women. With cheese. And the stalked women were their makes. WITH CHEESE.

Anyway, Valentine’s Day is a massive load of bullshit, perfectly suited to a society of people who like to be told when to be romantic and have their spontaneity made nice and obligatory. Here’s a sample conversation for your edification:

JOE: Hey. How’s it going?
RYAN: Good. How is it going with you?
JOE: Not bad. How’s things?
RYAN: Good. How are your things?
JOE: Good. What’s happening?
RYAN: Not much. What’s happening with you?
JOE: Not a lot. What’s new?
RYAN: This and that. What’s new with you?
JOE: Nothing interesting. Hey, what you doing for Valentine’s Day?
RYAN: FUCK YOU, MAN. FUCK YOU.

I’ll tell you another thing.

I’ll tell you another goddam thing.

Hearts don’t even look like that. They don’t look like that shape that “love hearts” are shaped like. If you, like, open someone’s chest up with a fucken knife, THEIR HEART DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THAT, MAN. THEIR HEART LOOKS LIKE A DARK RED SODDEN HEAP OF MEAT AND IT KEEPS ON BEATING FOR A FUCKEN WHILE AFTER YOU RIP IT OUT.

Happy Lupercalia, everyone! Smiley face!

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Feb 5, 2007 - Featured Stories    No comments

$10,000 to Deny Climate Change


The Guardian reports that the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research has sent out letters to scientists and economists offering them $10,000 to “emphasise the shortcomings” of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s report last Friday.
Ben Stewart of Greenpeace said: “The AEI is more than just a thinktank, it functions as the Bush administration’s intellectual Cosa Nostra. They are White House surrogates in the last throes of their campaign of climate change denial. They lost on the science; they lost on the moral case for action. All they’ve got left is a suitcase full of cash.”

Nicely said, Ben. Meanwhile, the imaginary debate continues to rage, as average citizens are under the sincere impression that there’s something like a 50-50 split in academic opinion on climate change. In fact, that’s all that’s necessary for private interests like AEI to succeed in their goals. They want to shape policy, policy is shaped by public opinion, and regardless of what the academic concensus is, it doesn’t translate into votes unless people understand and believe it.

What’s interesting, and has been for some time, is the way that essentially lay followers take up the cause of those private interests. Because there is a pre-existing framework of “left” versus “right”, especially in social environments like the US, all someone has to do in order to prevent there being concensus on an issue is encourage voters to frame it in left-right terms. People on the left worry about climate change, people on the right think it’s bullshit.

Certainly, that’s becoming less and less true as time goes on. Plenty of people who identify with “the right” are very concerned about climate change, but in doing so they’re going against an entrenched trend – a trend that was initially established by linking climate change with the general air of polarisation in Western (and especially American) politics.

When encountering a new contentious issue, birds of a feather seek each other out. When climate change came more into the popular consciousness, those who wanted to have an opinion looked first to those they had agreed with in the past – those in favour of invading Vietnam or Iraq, those in favour of tax cuts, those in favour of “family values”. Once they learned the appropriate position, they could then get the pleasure buzz of reading articles and blogs that agreed with them, lending the support of actual arguments (dodgy or not) to their now pre-existing position on the matter.

With the Internet, and especially the Blogosphere, there is a much accelerated mimetic evolution of arguments and ideas. One person strikes across what sounds rhetorically like a convincing argument against climate change – perhaps because of its wit – and passes it on to anyone who reads his blog or his message-board posts. It spreads quickly, evolving as it encounters obstacles.

Global cooling is one example. It’s very rhetorically appealing to say, “Global warming? Hah! Hell, 30 years ago we were worried about global cooling! Those climate scientists never know what’s what.” If I remember correctly, PJ O’Rourke mentioned that in one of his books. It spreads. Being debunked by academic concensus doesn’t matter, if it can spread and back up pre-existing opinions drawn down the traditional left-right divide.

What this existing framework does is make it very easy for an issue with near-consensus in the academic community to become a contentious issue of great debate in the public sphere. With the flick of a subtle association, you can cause an identification in a previously unexposed listener’s mind, where a stance on an issue is linked with socialism or with capitalism, with bleeding-heart liberals or money-hungry conservatives.

And, sadly, there’s almost no getting around it. You can’t present major issues in a way that won’t settle down into that 50/50 divide. Because whoever leaps on the topic first defines who’s going to reflexively disagree with them.

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